Stories with Tag self-esteem

• The Man in the Midnight-Blue Six-Ply Italian-Milled Wool Suit

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  Posted: 2025-02-09 07:10:56

  Verbose tl;dr

  Gary Shteyngart's essay explores his complex relationship with clothing, particularly a meticulously crafted, expensive suit. He details the suit's creation and its impact on his self-perception, weaving this narrative with reflections on aging, social anxiety, and the desire for external validation. While the suit initially provides a sense of confidence and belonging, it ultimately fails to truly address his deeper insecurities. He grapples with the superficiality of material possessions and the fleeting nature of the satisfaction they provide, eventually concluding that true self-acceptance must come from within, not from a perfectly tailored garment.

  Within the hallowed, sartorial halls of a bespoke tailor shop, Gary Shteyngart, the esteemed wordsmith, embarks upon a transformative odyssey, one stitch at a time. He chronicles, with characteristic wit and poignant self-reflection, the meticulous construction of a midnight-blue, six-ply, Italian-milled wool suit, an act that transcends mere acquisition of clothing and delves into the profound realm of self-discovery and acceptance.

  Shteyngart's narrative weaves a rich tapestry of personal history, intermingled with the meticulous details of the suit's creation. He lays bare his long-standing discomfort with his physical form, a sentiment that has driven him to seek refuge in the ephemeral comfort of baggy, concealing garments. The decision to commission a bespoke suit represents a significant departure from this established pattern, a conscious choice to confront his insecurities and embrace, perhaps even celebrate, the reality of his body.

  The narrative unfolds with the deliberate pace of a master tailor’s hand. Shteyngart vividly portrays the numerous fittings, the precise measurements, the careful selection of fabrics, and the intricate discussions of cut and style. Each step in the process becomes a symbolic shedding of the old, a peeling away of the layers of self-doubt to reveal the nascent confidence simmering beneath. The tailor, a figure of quiet wisdom and sartorial expertise, serves as both craftsman and confidante, guiding Shteyngart through this personal metamorphosis.

  The midnight-blue hue of the suit, a color reminiscent of the night sky, carries its own symbolic weight, hinting at the unknown possibilities that lie ahead. The six-ply Italian-milled wool, a testament to quality and craftsmanship, becomes a metaphor for the strength and resilience Shteyngart seeks to cultivate within himself.

  As the suit takes shape, so too does Shteyngart's sense of self. He begins to see his body not as an object of ridicule, but as a canvas upon which the artistry of the tailor can work its magic. The act of wearing the finished garment, a perfect fit in every sense of the word, becomes an act of self-affirmation, a declaration of acceptance and a celebration of the individual he has become. The midnight-blue suit, therefore, transcends its material form and transforms into a symbol of self-love, a tangible representation of Shteyngart’s journey towards embracing his authentic self. The essay, then, is not merely about a suit; it is about the transformative power of clothing, the pursuit of self-acceptance, and the enduring quest for a comfortable, well-fitting skin, both literally and metaphorically.

  • Gary Shteyngart
  • The Atlantic
  • men's fashion
  • bespoke tailoring
  • suits
  • wool
  • Italian wool
  • luxury goods
  • self-esteem
  • identity
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • masculinity
  • Humor
  • Satire
  • personal essay
  • magazine article

  Summary of Comments ( 53 )
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42989062

  Verbose tl;dr

  HN commenters largely found Shteyngart's essay on bespoke suits self-indulgent and out of touch. Several criticized the focus on expensive clothing amidst widespread economic hardship, viewing it as tone-deaf and privileged. Some questioned the value proposition of bespoke tailoring, suggesting cheaper off-the-rack options suffice. Others, while acknowledging the potential artistry and personal satisfaction derived from bespoke suits, still found the essay's framing excessive and lacking self-awareness. A few commenters offered a more nuanced perspective, suggesting the essay satirized consumerism and explored themes of identity and self-perception. However, this interpretation was a minority view, with most finding the piece shallow and disconnected from the realities of most people's lives.

  The Hacker News post titled "The Man in the Midnight-Blue Six-Ply Italian-Milled Wool Suit" linking to an Atlantic article about Gary Shteyngart's experience with bespoke tailoring has generated a moderate number of comments, mostly focusing on the perceived absurdity of the situation and the author's apparent self-absorption.

  Several commenters express skepticism and mild mockery towards the author's quest for the perfect suit, viewing it as an extravagant and ultimately futile exercise in vanity. They question the value proposition of spending such a significant amount of money on clothing, especially when the described benefits seem superficial and driven by insecurity. One commenter sarcastically highlights the supposed transformative power of the suit, implying that the author believes it will magically solve his problems.

  Others discuss the nature of bespoke tailoring itself, contrasting the genuine craftsmanship and personalized fit offered by traditional bespoke with the more common "made-to-measure" services often misrepresented as bespoke. They emphasize the significant price difference and the level of skill involved in true bespoke tailoring. This discussion touches upon the idea that the author might be mistaking a high-end made-to-measure suit for a truly bespoke one.

  A few commenters offer more empathetic perspectives, acknowledging the potential psychological benefits of investing in well-made clothing and the confidence it can provide. They suggest that while the author's pursuit might seem excessive to some, it's ultimately a personal choice and shouldn't be judged too harshly. However, even these comments maintain a slightly ironic tone, recognizing the inherent humor in the author's obsession.

  There's a brief tangent about the changing landscape of men's fashion and the decline of formal attire in contemporary society. This leads to a discussion about the role of clothing in self-expression and the different ways people choose to present themselves to the world.

  Overall, the comments on the Hacker News post are a mix of amusement, skepticism, and mild criticism towards the author's extravagant pursuit of sartorial perfection. While some commenters attempt to understand the underlying motivations, the prevailing sentiment is one of gentle mockery and a questioning of the value placed on such material possessions. The discussion also delves into the nuances of bespoke tailoring and the broader context of men's fashion in the 21st century.

• My Status Circles

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  Posted: 2025-02-05 11:35:13

  Verbose tl;dr

  Robin Hanson describes his experience with various "status circles," groups where he feels varying degrees of status and comfort. He outlines how status within a group influences his behavior, causing him to act differently in circles where he's central and respected compared to those where he's peripheral or unknown. This affects his willingness to speak up, share personal information, and even how much fun he has. Hanson ultimately argues that having many diverse status circles, including some where one holds high status, is key to a rich and fulfilling life. He emphasizes that pursuing only high status in all circles can lead to anxiety and missed opportunities to learn and grow from less prestigious groups.

  In a blog post entitled "My Status Circles," the author, Robin Hanson, meticulously delineates his perceived social standing within various spheres of interaction. He posits the existence of "status circles," conceptualized as distinct groups within which individuals hold relative social capital, influence, or prestige. These circles are not rigidly defined communities, but rather fluid and overlapping clusters of individuals based on shared contexts or interests.

  Hanson embarks on a comprehensive self-assessment, categorizing his perceived status within a spectrum from "low" to "high." He emphasizes that this evaluation is subjective and based on his personal interpretation of cues and interactions within each identified circle. The circles themselves range from broad categories like "world" and "nation" to more specific groupings such as his professional affiliations, neighborhood, and familial relationships.

  Within each specified circle, Hanson attempts to articulate the factors contributing to his perceived status. These factors vary depending on the nature of the circle, encompassing elements such as professional achievements, financial standing, social skills, reputation, physical appearance, and perceived intelligence. He acknowledges the inherent ambiguity in gauging social status and the potential for misinterpretation, emphasizing that his assessment reflects his personal perception rather than an objective measurement.

  The post suggests a framework for understanding social dynamics through the lens of individualized status hierarchies. It implies that individuals simultaneously navigate multiple, often overlapping, status landscapes. Hanson's detailed self-analysis serves as a practical application of this framework, offering a nuanced exploration of how one individual perceives their position within various social contexts. The explicit numerical ranking system, while admitting its subjectivity, provides a concrete mechanism for representing and reflecting upon perceived social standing. Ultimately, the post presents a personal introspection on the complex interplay of factors that contribute to an individual's sense of place within the broader social fabric.

  • status
  • social status
  • social circles
  • social dynamics
  • hierarchy
  • Social Hierarchy
  • Psychology
  • social psychology
  • Relationships
  • Communication
  • in-groups
  • out-groups
  • social signaling
  • self-perception
  • perception
  • bias
  • cognitive bias
  • social comparison
  • self-esteem
  • Blog Post
  • Overcoming Bias
  • Robin Hanson

  Summary of Comments ( 6 )
  https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42947081

  Verbose tl;dr

  HN users generally agree with the author's premise of having multiple status circles and seeking different kinds of status within them. Some commenters pointed out the inherent human drive for social comparison and the inevitable hierarchies that form, regardless of intention. Others discussed the trade-offs between broad vs. niche circles, and how the internet has facilitated the pursuit of niche status. A few questioned the negativity associated with "status seeking" and suggested reframing it as a natural desire for belonging and recognition. One compelling comment highlighted the difference between status seeking and status earning, arguing that genuine contribution, rather than manipulation, leads to more fulfilling status. Another interesting observation was the cyclical nature of status, with people often moving between different circles as their priorities and values change.

  The Hacker News post "My Status Circles," linking to an Overcoming Bias blog post, has generated several comments discussing the author's concept of navigating different social circles with varying status levels.

  Several commenters resonate with the author's experience. One commenter describes a similar feeling of navigating between academic and social circles, where their status and comfort levels shift dramatically. They highlight the awkwardness and challenges of bridging these disparate groups. Another commenter echoes this sentiment, expressing the difficulty of maintaining authentic behavior across diverse social landscapes and the resulting emotional labor involved. They share personal anecdotes of feeling like an outsider in certain groups and the pressure to conform.

  A few commenters offer different perspectives on the dynamics of status. One suggests that true belonging transcends the pursuit of status and emphasizes the importance of genuine connection and shared values. They argue that focusing on internal validation rather than external validation leads to more fulfilling relationships. Another commenter introduces the idea of "status dysphoria," where perceived status mismatches cause discomfort, and suggests that the author's experience might align with this concept. They propose that understanding and managing this dysphoria can lead to better navigation of social situations.

  The topic of code-switching also arises in the comments, with one commenter drawing a parallel between the author's experience and the concept of code-switching between different cultural contexts. They suggest that adapting behavior and communication styles to fit in with different groups is a common human experience.

  Some commenters focus on the practical aspects of navigating status circles. One commenter suggests that recognizing the fluidity of status can be helpful, as individuals hold different levels of status in different groups. They propose that understanding this dynamic can alleviate some of the pressure to maintain a consistent status across all social contexts. Another commenter offers advice on how to improve social skills and navigate these complexities more effectively, emphasizing the importance of observation and adapting behavior accordingly.

  Finally, some comments offer critiques of the author's original post. One commenter finds the concept of explicitly mapping out status circles to be overly calculated and potentially detrimental to genuine social interaction. They argue that focusing on authenticity and building genuine connections is more valuable than strategizing for social status. Another commenter questions the universality of the author's experience, suggesting that it may be more relevant to specific social contexts or personality types.

  Overall, the comments on the Hacker News post offer a range of perspectives on the author's concept of status circles, from personal anecdotes and relatable experiences to critiques and alternative viewpoints. The discussion explores the complexities of social dynamics, the challenges of maintaining authenticity across different groups, and the potential benefits of understanding and managing status perceptions.