The author reflects on the fleeting nature of online connections, particularly focusing on dating apps. They describe the cycle of matching, the initial excitement, followed by the often-anticlimactic exchange of messages, and the eventual deletion of the match – sometimes even before a conversation begins. This pattern highlights the disposability of people within these platforms and the author's own struggle to meaningfully connect amidst the constant influx of new faces. The essay contemplates the dehumanizing aspects of this process and the underlying hope for genuine connection that persists despite the disillusionment.
Researchers have identified spontaneous, synchronized oscillations in the movement of dense human crowds, similar to those observed in flocks of birds or schools of fish. By analyzing high-resolution trajectory data from high-density crowd events, they discovered distinct collective oscillatory modes where individuals unconsciously coordinate their movements, swaying side-to-side or back-and-forth. These oscillations emerge at certain critical densities and appear to be driven by local interactions between individuals, enhancing crowd fluidity and facilitating navigation. This discovery sheds light on the fundamental principles governing human collective behavior and could contribute to safer and more efficient crowd management strategies.
Hacker News users discussed the study on crowd oscillations with a mix of skepticism and interest. Some questioned the novelty of the findings, pointing out that synchronized swaying in crowds is a well-known phenomenon, especially at concerts. Others expressed concern about the methodology, particularly the reliance on overhead video and potential inaccuracies in tracking individual movements. Several commenters suggested alternative explanations for the observed oscillations, such as subconscious mimicking of neighbors or reactions to external stimuli like music or announcements. There was also a thread discussing the potential applications of the research, including crowd management and understanding collective behavior in other contexts. A few users appreciated the visualization and analysis of the phenomenon, even if they weren't surprised by the underlying behavior.
Robin Hanson describes his experience with various "status circles," groups where he feels varying degrees of status and comfort. He outlines how status within a group influences his behavior, causing him to act differently in circles where he's central and respected compared to those where he's peripheral or unknown. This affects his willingness to speak up, share personal information, and even how much fun he has. Hanson ultimately argues that having many diverse status circles, including some where one holds high status, is key to a rich and fulfilling life. He emphasizes that pursuing only high status in all circles can lead to anxiety and missed opportunities to learn and grow from less prestigious groups.
HN users generally agree with the author's premise of having multiple status circles and seeking different kinds of status within them. Some commenters pointed out the inherent human drive for social comparison and the inevitable hierarchies that form, regardless of intention. Others discussed the trade-offs between broad vs. niche circles, and how the internet has facilitated the pursuit of niche status. A few questioned the negativity associated with "status seeking" and suggested reframing it as a natural desire for belonging and recognition. One compelling comment highlighted the difference between status seeking and status earning, arguing that genuine contribution, rather than manipulation, leads to more fulfilling status. Another interesting observation was the cyclical nature of status, with people often moving between different circles as their priorities and values change.
Summary of Comments ( 27 )
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43432151
Hacker News users discussed the ethics and practicality of the author's decision to delete dating app matches based on their perceived political leanings. Several commenters questioned the effectiveness and broad-brush nature of this approach, pointing out the difficulty of accurately gauging political views from limited profiles and the potential for misinterpretation. Some argued that filtering based on political alignment contributes to echo chambers and limits opportunities for productive dialogue. Others supported the author's right to choose their matches based on any criteria they deem important, emphasizing the importance of shared values in a relationship. The discussion also touched on the role of dating apps in political polarization and the potential for such filtering to exacerbate existing divides. A few users shared personal anecdotes about successful relationships with partners holding differing political views, suggesting that focusing solely on political alignment might be short-sighted.
The Hacker News post "Matched and Deleted" has generated a significant discussion with a variety of perspectives on the original blog post about the author's experience with online dating.
Several commenters express empathy and share similar experiences of burnout and frustration with online dating apps. They discuss the time commitment, the superficiality of profiles, and the difficulty of finding genuine connections. Some echo the author's sentiment of feeling like a product being evaluated, leading to a sense of dehumanization. The pressure to constantly present an idealized version of oneself and the resulting emotional toll are recurring themes.
A few commenters delve into the gamified nature of these apps, highlighting the addictive design elements that encourage continuous use even in the absence of fulfilling results. They discuss the dopamine rush of matches and the subsequent disappointment, creating a cycle that can be difficult to break. The discussion also touches on the algorithms employed by these apps and how they may contribute to the feeling of being treated like a commodity rather than a person.
Some commenters offer alternative perspectives, suggesting that the author's negative experience might be partly attributable to their specific approach or the particular apps they used. They propose different strategies, such as focusing on more niche dating platforms or being more selective in swiping. Others mention the importance of managing expectations and approaching online dating with a healthy dose of realism.
There's a thread discussing the broader societal context of online dating, with some arguing that it reflects a decline in traditional social interactions and contributes to a culture of disposability. Others counter this view, suggesting that online dating simply presents a different avenue for connection in a rapidly changing world.
A few commenters express skepticism about the author's narrative, questioning the veracity of certain details or suggesting that the blog post might be exaggerated for dramatic effect. These comments are generally downvoted and receive less engagement than the more empathetic and analytical responses.
Finally, several comments offer practical tips and advice for navigating the challenges of online dating, such as focusing on shared interests, crafting authentic profiles, and prioritizing mental well-being throughout the process. These comments often draw on personal experience and offer concrete suggestions for improving the online dating experience.