The blog post "Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)" argues that when seeking agreement or buy-in, framing requests negatively—asking for objections rather than approval—can be more effective. This "opt-out" approach lowers the barrier to engagement, making it easier for people to voice concerns they might otherwise keep to themselves. By explicitly inviting dissent, you gather valuable feedback, uncover hidden obstacles, and ultimately increase the likelihood of genuine agreement and successful implementation down the line. This proactive approach to identifying and addressing potential problems can lead to more robust solutions and stronger commitment from all involved parties.
In a blog post titled "Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)," published on mooreds.com, the author, Simon Willison, elaborates on a nuanced approach to decision-making, particularly in collaborative environments. He argues that instead of framing requests in a way that seeks affirmation or agreement ("yes"), a more effective strategy is to present a proposal and explicitly invite objections or reasons why it shouldn't proceed ("no"). This inverts the typical dynamic where implicit approval is assumed unless actively challenged.
Willison explains that the "ask for no" approach diminishes the social pressure to conform, thereby encouraging more candid feedback. People are often hesitant to voice concerns when faced with a direct request for a "yes," either due to politeness, a desire to avoid conflict, or the perceived expectation of agreement. By explicitly soliciting reasons against a proposal, the author posits that it lowers the barrier for expressing dissent and surfaces potential problems early on. This preemptive identification of issues allows for more thorough consideration and potentially strengthens the eventual implementation of the proposed idea.
The author further emphasizes the importance of psychological safety within a team or group setting. He contends that "asking for no" cultivates a safer environment for critical thinking by explicitly signaling that disagreement is not only acceptable but also actively encouraged. This can be particularly beneficial when dealing with complex decisions where diverse perspectives are crucial. By framing the request as a search for potential flaws or downsides, the author suggests that individuals are more likely to engage in constructive criticism without fear of negative repercussions.
Willison also highlights the potential for this approach to save time and resources in the long run. By proactively seeking out potential pitfalls, the "ask for no" framework can prevent projects from progressing down a flawed path, ultimately avoiding wasted effort and potentially costly revisions later on. This preemptive problem-solving can be particularly valuable in dynamic environments where adaptability is key.
Finally, the author acknowledges that the "ask for no" strategy isn't universally applicable. In situations requiring rapid action or involving established procedures, seeking explicit confirmation may be more appropriate. However, he maintains that for many decision-making scenarios, especially those involving collaborative problem-solving and innovative thinking, "asking for no" presents a powerful alternative that fosters a more robust and productive discussion.
Summary of Comments ( 254 )
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43144611
Hacker News users discuss the nuances of the "ask for no" strategy. Several commenters point out that it's not about literally asking for "no," but rather framing the request in a way that makes it easy for someone to decline without feeling guilty or pressured. This approach is seen as particularly useful in sales, negotiations, and managing teams, fostering better relationships by respecting autonomy. Some argue it's a form of manipulation, while others defend it as a way to create psychological safety. The discussion also touches on cultural differences, noting that the directness of "asking for no" might not translate well in all environments. A few users share personal anecdotes of how this strategy has led to better outcomes, emphasizing the importance of sincerity and genuine respect for the other party's decision.
The Hacker News post "Ask for no, don't ask for yes (2022)" has generated several comments discussing the core idea of framing requests in a way that allows the other party to easily decline. Many commenters agree with the premise, finding it a useful strategy for various situations.
One compelling comment highlights the effectiveness of this approach in sales, pointing out that by giving prospects an easy out, it lowers their defenses and paradoxically makes them more receptive to the offer. This comment also mentions that this technique is taught in sales training, reinforcing its practical value.
Another commenter emphasizes the importance of sincerity when using this method. They argue that feigning disinterest while secretly hoping for a "yes" can be manipulative and ultimately counterproductive. Genuine respect for the other person's autonomy is crucial for the approach to work effectively.
Several commenters share anecdotes illustrating the principle in action. One describes successfully negotiating a lower price by explicitly stating their willingness to walk away. Another recounts using this technique to get valuable feedback, framing the request in a way that made it easy for the recipient to decline without feeling guilty.
The discussion also touches upon the psychological underpinnings of the "ask for no" strategy. One commenter suggests it leverages reactance theory, whereby people tend to resist perceived limitations on their freedom. By explicitly acknowledging their right to say no, you reduce this reactance and increase the likelihood of a positive response.
Some commenters also offer alternative perspectives, suggesting that the effectiveness of this technique can depend on the specific context and the relationship between the parties involved. For instance, it might be less suitable in situations where a strong, assertive approach is expected.
Overall, the comments generally support the article's main point, with many users sharing personal experiences and insights that further illuminate the benefits and nuances of "asking for no." The discussion emphasizes the importance of sincerity and respect, highlighting that this strategy is not about manipulation, but about creating a more comfortable and open environment for communication.